As the tears began to rise, i started to bite my lip to hold it in, small deep breathes gripping the table for support, I nodded my head and I said “Yes, I understand it’s my fault. Thank you for your time.” The term was over, so were my chances of showing my work, defending it and passing that class.
Thanking the panel again, I left the room as quick as I could and tears began to roll down my face uncontrollably. I was forgetting how to breathe (i usually do on a normal daily basis so weird) and my world was shattering, turning into a haze of purples and blues and stars and the sun all colliding and then back to the white floors of the 10th floor.
It felt so real, so cold and straight forward with no shame of hiding behind being in-denial. I didnt hold back and i allowed myself to cry as my friend tried to console me but it was useless, crying was useless, i wiped my tears and went for my bag by the tables. I removed my 5 inch heels and walked away 10 floors down barefoot, bare-heart, bare-soul and with a tune (my friend was singing) to accompany my devastation.
I was in a blue oversized blazer from Bershka, a white neoprene short-sleeves round neck top and a white lotus looking (well in my eyes) skirt from Clothier and beige pumps from Payless. My devastated outfit that made my legs look nice (no yabang, cause usually my legs looks like Meralco posts). So when in doubt and unprepared wear something nice so when it fails you dont super look it naman. Plus, look at the bright side and change your perspective. There is always a lesson to be learnt. Life is about building character and us all being a work in progress. ✌🏿
My mom styled this cause my first outfit looked like i failed even before I did.